Two Are Better Than One for They Will Receive Their Reward Together: Christ-Centered Marriages (Overcoming Toxic & Harmful Traits Before the Ring) (Part 5)

Amos 3:3

2 Corinthians 6:14

Toxic and harmful traits can affect not just two couples but the people they are surrounded by because God has allowed them to be surrounded by them to be an example or positive impact on those around them. Sometimes as humans, we don't realize the harmful results our actions can cause someone else. Sometimes we humans make decisions based off of emotions or hurt and it ends up impacting everyone around us not just us. 

Don't get me wrong. It can seem like all these harmful traits are empowering and powerful. But no. Not to God. Cursing someone else out, sticking the middle finger out at others, physical violence and anything vulgar that leads people astray are not works inspired by God's kingdom. I'm sorry, but. It can't happen in a healthy marriage. Anything to hurt someone else is not of God and God sees that and eventually will hold both parties accountable. Not just the person causing the toxic and harmful traits but the one ignorant enough to stay in such situations. 

When two join together, they mirror each other in a way. You're supposed to grow in this life with your spouse not tear them down. Not be in competition with them nor take advantage of or use them for inappropriate behavior or disrespectful means. Any acts of ungodliness will pollute you spiritually. No to inviting a third person to accommodate the pleasurable needs of your spouse in any way. No to inviting uncommon impure practices during marriage either (learn this) because God says to keep the marriage bed pure in Hebrews 13:4. No tempting each other to leave God's will. 

Help each other grow spiritually towards heaven instead of being a stumbling block to each other's growth. Don't tell your marital battles to just anyone. Let's be honest, there are disputes in some marriages. But that's where you both should decide to learn from it, grow from it, and change. Do not repeat the same patterns because nobody wants to be seeing toxic, and harmful traits inserted in marriages. It's not of God and it won't edify anybody in the church nor win souls and other marriages to Christ. 

Something I like to say a lot: "get it together!"

Throughout the Bible, there are examples to imitate as individuals working out our own salvation through fear and trembling. Salvation is rooted in our relationship with Jesus and obeying God's commandments but also doing the personal will that God has for each and every one of our lives. Okay? Okay! That's important to keep in mind because the ring doesn't change your kingdom status. It just changes your earthly status here on Earth. So don't get hyped when nothing really is different about getting a ring and getting married. Just saying!

But there are key components that can be applied even while being married because they can benefit the marriage: 

1 Corinthians 13. 

Galatians 5:22-23.

Ephesians 5.

1 Corinthians 13 talks about love. Let's take a look at the chapter: spiritual gifts don't exclude you from living a healthy marriage here on earth. Ministry shouldn't be an excuse to not spend quality time with your significant other. Having a great reputation in society shouldn't exclude you from treating your significant other right. 

List: 

Love is long-suffering? So should you be. 

Love is kind? So should you be. 

Love is not envious? So don't be envious or in competition with each other. 

Love is not self-seeking and prideful? So don't be towards each other. 

Love is not easily provoked to anger outbursts? So don't be towards each other. 

Love doesn't get happy with bad intentions and iniquity thoughts and actions? So don't be that way or act that way. Hate what God hates, love what God loves. 

Have faith in Jesus enough to know that he can perform miracles in your spouse's life. Believe in each other. Hope for better days together. 

Don't act but put away childish behavior to take adult responsibilities. 

Galatians 5:22-23 talks about the outcome of walking in God's Spirit. It's nothing magical. You produce it while you seek God and allow God's Word to take ownership of your life. Let's read this scripture: 

List:

Love

Joy

Peace

Longsuffering

Gentleness

Goodness 

Faith

Meekness

Temperance

Nothing compares to having those traits. 

Ephesians 5 talks about marriage. It tells us to walk in love because Jesus paid the ultimate price for us all. Practicing: fornication, unclean acts, or desiring (coveting) what's not yours is not really pleasing to God. So guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23) from such practices. No filthiness nor foolish talking should come out of your mouth. Nor any speech or act of jesting. But rather practice being grateful and have gratitude. 

Guard your kingdom heritage. Even when not believed, mocked, ridiculed, and spoken badly of or falsely spoken of. Whatever occurs, it shouldn't shake your marriage because stewarding it will bring God glory and others to Christ. Believe me when I say people view everything and see everything. Obey God together. 

Be the light together. Be good, and righteous, and walk in the Spirit of God together. Don't do dark things nor practice anything that someone who isn't saved practices or weak Christian practices. That's where spiritual maturity comes into the picture, even during marriage. What you used to do by yourself as a single Christian, you must do with your spouse now. If your marriage just got saved and you never had that Christian singleness season, it's okay. It's never too late to start a healthy, pure marriage experience that pleases God instead of seeking popularity and recognition. Be the salt and light. 

Make sure you both are doing the right thing even if no one is looking at you both. God is and sooner or later things can come to light. Understand what God's will is together and work towards God's kingdom together. 

Worship God together. A wife must submit to her husband. God mentions this through His vessel because we live in a world where being a woman is seen as weak and some people misinterpret submission as a weak thing when in reality we submit to God every day and that's not seen as wrong but when it comes down to submitting to a husband, it's like: "why do I get to listen to them? why should I have to ask for permission, etc? I'm grown. I can do it without a spouse." When in reality God doesn't like prideful behavior. Prideful behavior can seem like a good thing when it's masqueraded as Jezebel empowerment instead of Christ-like empowerment. Don't get me wrong, a woman can be strong in their leadership roles but that shouldn't exclude submitting to their spouse. The church is already subject to Christ's leading so we must submit to Christ before a spouse. A man must love his wife. God is not saying that a woman shouldn't love her husband. When clearly God is love and He demands us to love everyone. But in a world where a man thinks they're dominant over a female instead of seeing them as their equal...God clearly emphasizes this to the max. Remember, the same God that lifts up can bring down and the same God that brings down can lift up. The same God who brings up the humble humbles the prideful. A person who loves their spouse loves themselves. A husband that loves his wife, shows that he loves himself. 

Ephesians 5:29- For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:(kjv)

Ephesians 5:33-Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.(kjv)

The same way you'd take care of yourself and make sure you're nourished, is the same way you should take care of the person you're with. God will hold you accountable. 

Remember that this letter of Ephesians was written a long long time ago. Times have changed but God still remains the same. I emphasize that spouses love one another and respect each other. 

Before the ring, remember to obtain knowledge of what marriage is really like so that you won't make a mess out of it and wait for God to give you the okay towards the marriage. If God says no, He has a good reason for saying no. But don't let emotions dictate the decisions, don't let the world or family, etc. You can love everyone, it doesn't mean you do what everyone says if it's not God's will for you. At the end of the day, you have a choice. Choose wisely. 

Keep this in mind: Matthew 22:36-40.

Work on your character before the ring. So it won't cause havoc when you get married.