Two Are Better Than One for They Will Receive Their Reward Together: Christ-Centered Marriages (Overcoming the Foxes Trying to Get Into the Vineyard) (Part 4)

Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.-Song of Solomon 2:15 (kjv)

There are so many foxes that can get into a vineyard. These will be examples accompanied by sentences and scripture. Are you ready? Here we go: 

Physical and verbal abuse: 

Physical and verbal abuse isn't of God and isn't healthy. So any of that fruit is not going to really be of edification to each other or show each other the love of Christ. The Bible places a lot of emphasis on learning how to manage your anger, outbursts of anger, and emotional breakdowns. I'm not saying getting angry is a sin but the Bible does say not to allow the sun to go down on your anger. I'm not saying emotional breakdowns are a sin but the outcome of an emotional breakdown can lead someone to make a mistake. With that being said let's get angry but not sin. Let's allow our emotions to break us into tears and feelings but not let them take us out of God's will and God's way of doing things. Don't go to sleep angry, forgive, and move on for the Bible is clear that if we don't forgive others, God can't forgive us. 

So let's look at the scriptural text that speaks according to this topic: 

Psalms 37:8- Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. (kjv)

Stop the anger, let go of the anger, and do not even think about doing evil. 

Proverbs 23:21- For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags. (kjv)

Abusing of alcohol substance and abusing food is not going to help a marriage but destroy it. The Bible places emphasis on loving your significant other as you love yourself in Matthew 22:39. How can you love someone else if you don't take care of yourself? Your spouse is your neighbor as well. 

Proverbs 4:17-For they eat the bread of wickedness, and drink the wine of violence. (kjv) 

Violence is wicked. 

Laziness and not putting effort into your marriage can open a door to the enemy or cause emotional hurt to the person you're with. 

There are scriptures about the bad things of laziness in Proverbs and this particular scripture can be applied to sacrificing time, effort, and energy to be within a marriage. If we tend to observe any factual evidence, we can conclude that marriages that put no effort into each other aren't really happy: Hebrews 13:6- But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.

There are scriptures in Proverbs and James that speak about the mouth and learning to control it. 

Lack of communication & lack of attention:

In lack of communication causes someone that you're with to have assumptions that you no longer love them, or want to spend time with them or be around them. 

Lack of attention to detail, to who they are, and how they react to things. How they react towards you can make the other person feel left out or as if you no longer love them. 

It's important to keep communication because 1 Corinthians 13 talks about love being patient, love being kind, and love being all things, in that case, the love between a couple should be shown physically and verbally. In regarding Proverbs 18:21, there's specific detailing in the verse. Let's see it: 

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue; and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." -kjv

So whatever toxic traits verbally can cause death spiritually. It is not just detrimental to your marriage. So be very careful how you speak and talk to someone else. There will be spiritual consequences and an opened demonic door for the enemy to destroy the communion you both have. 

Not getting to know each other well and assuming:

When you're in your first face of getting to know someone else, you should be reassured who they are, and how they react towards you, others, and family members. Not getting to know how a person conducts themselves towards others can reap havoc on your life and their life as well because assumptions are negatively built to destroy mindsets. 

Proverbs 18:2- fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. (kjv) 

Also, 

Proverbs 29:11- A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards. (kjv)

Instead of making assumptions, wait until the fruit on the tree speaks for itself. Meaning let the situation roll out for it to be fixed (if there's anything to be fixed), if not, just enjoy the fact that it's not true and wait until marriage or (while being married to enjoy every moment). 

Cheating/committing adultery:

Cheating doesn't please God. It's like committing adultery but adultery has to do way more with cheating in sexual immorality. But the thing is it's while being with someone and someone cheats sexually. God doesn't like that. Other acts of cheating would be watching pornography stuff (for a Christian) and inappropriately touching oneself. That's why the Bible places so much emphasis on the eyes and what we do, hear, and see. God knows what He means when He prompts us to let go of the things of this world. Instead of edifying us, it will cause havoc later on in our spiritual walk towards heaven. Cheating can be simply kissing someone else while being with someone else, flirting, while being with someone else, and doing things that couples do to cultivate feelings with someone else is considered cheating. That's why being Christian doesn't quite seem ideal and popular because it's something that is seen as boring and very limited. But the Word of God knows why it's teaching us these things. There's a hidden agenda behind such practices that the devil doesn't want people to be aware of. So next time temptation comes knocking on a door, run like Joseph did. Be nice to someone enough to preach Jesus by denying their tempting offers. God bless your efforts and strengthen you for we can do nothing in our own strength. Goes for both genders. 

James 1:22

Proverbs 6:32

Matthew 5:28

Exodus 20:14

1 Corinthians 6:18

Romans 7:3

Bad habits:

The Bible speaks about bad habits and good habits. If you read closely the scriptures, they describe what God considers a bad habit and what He considers a good habit. Take that into consideration to dig deep into the scriptures and analyze what you're reading. Don't take things out of context but learn from the stories because I do believe that they can be applied to within this day and age. There are 66 books in the Bible. Have this habit of studying the Bible every year because every year God indeed seeks to speak with you. Okay? You got this!

Not having Jesus inside the relationship:

There's a scripture about having a foundation built on the rock instead of shaky foundations. I hope that that scripture can be seen as an application for marriages and relationships as well. 

Here's the scripture,

The ROCK: Matthew 7:24-27, 1 Corinthians 10:4

May it motivate you to seek Christ together, cultivate praying about serious decisions together, read, and study the Word together, worship God together, and be kingdom soul winners together. So that Christ can be glorified. Have the same goals and support one another for you are both a team or will be a team in the future. God bless you! Practice makes perfect but depend on God's strength to help you continue in marriage and preparation for marriage (for those being prepared for marriage that is). 

Not being aligned with God's will because when you're not being faithful to God it allows what isn't of God into your life. It will prevent you from seeing who God really has for you: 

Disobedience to God doesn't equal blessings. Even when getting blessed through the ignorance of disobedience, it won't go well for someone spiritually. The outward appearance decays, life itself decays and God is extremely patient with all of us. So let's be very considerate and start to honor God even in the marriages and respect other people's marriages and honor other people's marriages. Look at the example of Deuteronomy regarding blessing and cursing. God doesn't bless a mess but corrects a mess and still, His correction is a blessing. Hallelujah! Put in the time to cultivate a healthy relationship it's not hard when love is the foundation for God is the definition of love. Let Him teach you what love is and mold you in His love so you'll be able to love that person like Christ loves that person. 

Lowering your standards due to loneliness:

Lowering standards due to loneliness is a shaky foundation. Our standards should be according to the biblical Word of God. As Christians, it's not always seen as something serious. But if you're strong in your belief ethics, you should consider taking it extremely seriously. Why? because God will take that into consideration. What would happen if God came down to have a coffee with you and you were having a heart-to-heart conversation with God, and He asked you how's it going in your marriage? and you look around and see if everyone is staring and you're acting suspicious and weird. God is going to know what's already in your heart for you can't hide nothing from God. The same way we picture having a coffee with God is the same way we should do so now and even if we can't see Him, He's a gentleman who is willing to be invisibly there in the room with you while you're sipping that coffee and talking to Him in your mind. God knows the deep thoughts of our hearts and He knows what needs fixing for a marriage to honor Him. Cast your cares and burdens upon the Lord for He will sustain you: Psalm 55:22.

Not being adequately prepared for marriage:

Not being adequately prepared for marriage doesn't mean not knowing how to cook. But someone who is being prepared for marriage should at least try to learn and even if they haven't mastered the skill of learning how to cook, they have time while being married to learn with each other. It can seem weird, but God doesn't see anything wrong with that as long as you're taking care of the person that you end up with. 

It's not just making sure you know how to take meals. But how to take care of your body system and how to serve the person you're going to be with. It starts with serving the people you live with or simply just learning on your own how to manage your expenses, finances, budgets (everyone should have budget plans. God is a God of order), rent/bills, how to handle life confrontations because life will bring a lot of trials. But take heart, Jesus already overcame the world. Ask Jesus how to overcome and let the scriptures be brought to life and spring forth to life and action in your life. God works with surrendered hearts, not prideful ones. However, don't get me wrong, a cold heart can be softened for His glory. Learn everything in this life, including how to communicate properly so that your marriage can thrive. If you want to learn from others who have already walked that season and their testimonies, do so. God bless you! Remember: the bible is the key to everything. Literally!

Going by the guidance of emotions and not the Word of God:

Emotions can lie to you, emotions can deceive you into thinking something that isn't even true. There's a practice I like to incorporate as a Christian (even though I'm not married), that I think would still help out. I honestly have my moments when I don't feel all that jolly at times. But that's normal. It's like you get these thoughts of: oh it's another day. So what? It's not depression or anything like that. It's thoughts. What I learned is to cultivate a habit of asking God: "God. What do you want me to do today?" when I'm thinking and pondering I get a list of things to do coming into my head because I decided to give over my life and time to God every day so that He can get the glory. Sometimes we may forget certain things but no big deal. God sees the intentions of the heart. You'd be surprised when I think I have nothing to do, I have a whole bunch of things to do. Things surprisingly start to come up and to God be all the glory. But the point is, this can apply to your marriage. Learn to go to God and present to God everything you both will be doing together so God can protect and guide you both. When emotions start to get a little hectic, walk away or simply calm down and just pray and ask for space if necessary but don't let it linger for a long time because the enemy can take advantage of the disunity within a marriage. 

Remember that the only way for a marriage to truly thrive in this world is by having Jesus in it. A marriage without Christ has the potential to thrive but it won't lead to eternal blessing. For this scripture is the truth: Romans 2:14.

Wishing nothing but the best for your marriages!